I don’t think I’ve ever called out a blog for posting something that I disagree with. But when I read a horrific post that shamed young girls for their clothing choices, I knew that as the mom of two little girls, I had to say something.
The post, “Here’s Why I’m Glad I Don’t Have Daughters – Middle School Graduation,” on Generation Fabulous absolutely shocked me. In it, a contributing blogger laments the clothing choices of 13 and 14 year old girls at her son’s academic awards ceremony.
The blogger created collages of the girls’ clothing choices, blurred out their faces, and wrote “yes” on the ones she approved and “no” on the ones she thought were “wholly inappropriate.”
How is it okay to take pictures of underage girls in your community, post them online, and humiliate them by calling them hoochies?
Answer: IT’S NOT.
Listen, I don’t agree with the girls’ clothing choices, either. I think they are dressed inappropriately. Hubs and I will do everything in our power to Just Say No to dressing like that when our girls are tweens and teens.
I might even go as far as to say that inappropriate clothing will be one of our top three things we won’t bend on with our girls (we insist on modest clothing choices right now, even though my 7yo wants “cool” stuff from Target).
But here’s the thing.
I am not in those girls’ parents’ shoes.
Perhaps the parents see nothing wrong with the clothing their girls are wearing.
Perhaps the parents are fighting with their daughters about anything and everything and decided this was not a fight they wanted to pick that day.
Perhaps we have no idea at all what is going on in those girls’ minds, their parents’ minds, and in those households.
It is certainly okay to think that the girls at this middle school ceremony are dressed inappropriately. It is definitely fine to write a post about it and express your dismay at what you saw.
But it is not okay to borderline slut-shame these young, impressionable girls by posting their pictures and saying mean things.
The author even went as far as to point out about one girl in particular:
“This girl, bless her heart, showed the entire audience her panties as she ascended the steps to claim her award. Her skirt was so short that her cheeks were showing when she walked.”
It’s bad enough to have this happen to you as a young girl, but then have an adult shame you for it online? Inexcusable.
Think of what’s going to happen when these girls find out their pictures are being posted by their classmate’s mom (because they will). Can you imagine their humiliation and the teasing by their peers? Their parents’ anger (and potential lawsuits)?
I know if I was one of the parents of those girls, I’d be very, VERY angry about this blog post and my daughter’s picture being put online without permission – and her being openly criticized by an adult.
We are parents. That means we have an obligation not only to our children, but also an obligation to be kind and caring to the children around us. And that’s why I felt compelled to write about this.
I hope that Generation Fabulous apologizes, takes down the pictures, and has the author revise the post so she can express her opinion without shaming the girls.
If you hope the same, please go comment on the post and ask them to do so. (And even if you are as riled up as me, please do me a favor and don’t be cruel to the author of the post. Meanness doesn’t need to beget more meanness. I’d like to think that when the author realizes what she’s done, she will feel badly and apologize.)
We all make mistakes. I hope Generation Fabulous can own up to theirs and make things right.
UPDATE: Around 2pm ET, Generation Fabulous took the post down. I can tell from my stats that they got a lot of traffic from this page and I saw many of you comment on their site – thank you! Hopefully the girls in the pictures never saw them. I have not seen any apology from the site yet. Hoping they will post one…