A Valentine’s Day Love Letter. To Me. From Me.

Dear JD,

You’ve had a really hard few weeks, honey. I know you have. A traveling husband, a puking child, the same child not sleeping, and your work projects exploding … well, it’s a wonder you are standing upright.

I’m here to tell you: GOOD JOB, MAMA! YOU ROCK! AND I LOVE YOU TO PIECES!

I know you feel like you are doing horribly at everything. You feel like you are letting everyone down at work, you’re an inadequate mother, and you suck as a wife. And not in a way your husband appreciates.

You’re not doing horribly. You are holding it together. Pretty well, given the circumstances. You even manage a smile and a big hug for your daughters in the morning when all you want to do is crawl under the covers and hide from them and the rest of the world. And I say bravo, my dear. Bravo.

And listen. You know that little 20-something twit at work who is complaining you are “only part time” and “not dedicated to the project” and sent you an email tonight lamenting that she “wished you were here tomorrow so we could talk through some more things”?

She’s a child. She doesn’t have ANY IDEA about life priorities or that you are working WAY more than you are supposed to on this project and how completely dedicated you are, but that family ALWAYS comes first. Someday she will be cursed with colicky twins who puke all over her every night and look back at the time she was mean to you and understand that karma is definitely a bitch.

And I know Grace’s inability to sleep at night is killing you, both mentally and physically. I know you feel helpless. But you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not your fault. And someday, somehow, she will – and you will – sleep again.

I know you worry about Anne not getting enough attention because Grace is needy and you are so damn tired. But she is doing great. And you are doing great raising her. She loves you to pieces and you love her right back.

You are doing SO MANY THINGS RIGHT. You are carving out time for yourself.  You are getting help via therapy and antidepressants. You are spending quality time with the Hubs. You are working out. You have a job and are making some good money because you are great at what you do. You are still getting quality time with your kids, making cookies and valentines and other things they love to do. You have this blog and you are writing for yourself. And you are full of love for your family and friends.

Now it’s time to be full of love for yourself.

Ya hear me, woman? Appreciate yourself. You rock. Yeah, you’re not perfect. No one is. But you are doing the best you can, and the best you can is pretty damn good.

Life is hard right now. But you are still blessed. And I know you know it. And that you appreciate all you have. So hang in there. The saying “It Gets Better” goes for you, too.

Keep on keeping on with your awesome self. And Happy Valentine’s Day, you sexy lady.

Love, Yourself

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12 Replies to “A Valentine’s Day Love Letter. To Me. From Me.”

  1. I’m jealous of the relationship between, um, you two. Looks like you found a real friend.

    My inner voice is a real know-it-all bitch. She’s always reminding me I’m being too mean, not giving it my all, forcing me to eat more cheese, blah, blah, blah …

    Listen to yours. She’s a keeper.

  2. This. Is. Great. I love it. We ALL need to do this more often. We’re our own worst critics, sometimes our own worst enemy. We just need to give ourselves a little credit and understanding from time to time. Thank you for sharing this empowering letter! Glad you joined the Lightning Bugs, and I look forward to reading more from you!

  3. Whoa. I can’t believe this only has a few comments. EVERYONE needs to read this. It’s so true, so honest, so good. Having just met you, I gather life is spinning faster than you can hold on sometimes, but you are completely right. You are doing a damn good job. Just recognizing the little things impresses me. I hope things get worked out with your daughter’s sleep very soon. Sleep deprivation is the root of my evil.

    1. Thanks, Jen! It took a very, very long time to recognize the little things and make small changes that have been making a BIG difference!

      The sleep thing had been better for about a week now, but then another bad night last night. So we’ll see…

  4. I wish I would have read this a long time ago. I needed to hear this since I am probably way too hard on myself and I need to remember that I am doing the best I can given the resources I have. And this rough patch will pass. Honest mom you are the light at the end of the tunnel

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