Public Service Announcement: DO NOT read this post if you are pregnant with your first baby. It may completely freak you out. Come back next time, okay?
Lately, completely out of nowhere and despite my better judgement, I have been having baby cravings.
Cute babies at the grocery store are torturing me with their preciousness.
Sweet little babies in diaper commercials make my eyes well up.
I am jealous of my friend’s big beautiful pregnant belly.
What is WRONG with me?
I mean, I am so done having kids. I have Anne and Grace, who are more than enough for me to handle. I went through some serious postpartum depression after Grace and am actually afraid each month of the possibility of pregnancy. I don’t want more kids. I really don’t.
So why, for the past month, have my eyes been getting all watery when I see babies?
I commented on Twitter and Facebook about my baby craving issue:
And caused my Twitter and Facebook friends to cry out, “JD, pull yourself together!”
Now if you are in the same boat as me, those comments should help ease the ache in your uterus.
But that’s not enough to restore your sanity and remind you why you don’t want another baby, here are some more reasons. Thinking of these definitely cure my cravings when I get all “oooooh, cute little baby, I want one!” in the grocery store.
(More) Reasons NOT to Have Another Baby
Poopy diapers that leak onto the back of your just-washed baby.
Cutting baby finger nails.
NO WINE for 40 weeks and while nursing around the clock.
Lugging around a big honkin’ stroller everywhere you go.
NO SLEEP for at least two months straight. Three years, if you’re unlucky like I was.
“Crying it out.” Oh GOD, the torture.
Morning sickness. And afternoon sickness. And night sickness.
Did I mention NO WINE for 40 weeks? AND while nursing around the clock?
And finally … Remember that whining, complaining toddler/preschooler/tween of yours? Babies grow up. They go from cuddly, precious babies to mouthy, whiny, tantruming kids. Whom you love dearly. Of course.
Now go pop open your favorite bottle of wine and drink up, mama. Cause you sure couldn’t if you were preggo right now. I am toasting you with my Castle Rock Pinot Noir right now. Goodbye, quaky ovaries. And cheers!
What are YOUR reasons to not have another baby – funny or not?