Things I’m Afraid to Tell You: Link Up Your Posts

Michele at ODNT clued me into this little blog meme/linkup/phenomenon called “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You.” And I thought – oh yeah, here’s a good meme for Honest Mom!

I’m not afraid of telling you all much, obviously. My blog name says it all. But I have only been writing at this blog for six months, so there is still plenty to tell!

And like Michele, not all my confessions are heavy.  Some are kind of funny or odd.  But one or two are a bit bombshell-like. So here we go…

1. I am a closet science fiction fan. I am a bit of a geek deep down. In fact, one of my top 5 movies is the 2009 Star Trek movie. My dad was a computer science guy and my mom was a math teacher. There was no way to escape it.

2. I pick at the edges of my fingers and the heels of my feet. Gross, I know. I think it’s part of my anxiety issues.

3. I grew up a pretty devout Catholic but I am so pissed at the church – and have been since the pedophile scandal broke – that I can’t bring myself to go. And I feel a big hole in my life because of it.

But I can’t belong to an institution that is so broken that it put a greater priority on protecting pedophiles than protecting children. And the fact that women are second-class citizens, gay people aren’t truly accepted, priests can’t be married … all this drove me away.

I am really struggling with the fact that Anne will be in 1st grade next year and she should start Catholic religious education and make her first communion in 2nd grade. I don’t know what to do about this.

4. Sometimes I wonder if I drink too much wine. And I worry a little. But not enough to stop having a glass almost every night.

5. I’ve never been a big Seinfeld fan. Some episodes are great but most of the time I am watching an episode, I sit there, detesting the characters as I watch and thinking how, in real life, I’d avoid them at all costs.

6. I almost always have dirt under my fingernails because I am a gardener and can’t keep my hands out of the dirt.

7. I don’t know how to do a cartwheel.

8. When I wash my hair, a lot of my hair falls out and I wipe it onto the shower wall. I almost always remember to throw it away when I am done showering. Almost.

9. I have a half-sister who I found out about the day after my dad died. I don’t know who she is or where she is. And I don’t think I’ll ever find out.

10. I grew up in a house filled with yelling and fighting. My father was an alcoholic. I once heard him tell my mom if she left him, he’d “get” me to get back at her. I used to sleep covered up by my stuffed animals so I could hide. My father humiliated me at my 8th grade graduation and at my wedding rehearsal because he was drunk. Despite all this, my relationship with my dad improved after I got married and had kids. He suddenly died in 2010 and it makes me so mad that most of my life I struggled with hating him, and just as he was mellowing out, he died.

11. One of my girls has ears that stick out and I live in dread of the day she gets teased about it. I am afraid I will cry in front of her on the day she comes home and tells me it happened.

12. No one has ever hurt me as horribly as the guy I dated for almost two years in college. I did not truly get over the pain of our breakup until about a year before I met my husband.

13. I like being the center of attention.

14. My house will never be truly clean and organized, and even though this is most people’s plight, I HATE IT that I have an “office” that is just a room filled with crap and I even if I do ever get around to cleaning it that means the basement or garage or shed or playroom or whatever is still a mess and I find this completely OVERWHELMING. I have a really hard time enjoying the little accomplishments and always end up thinking about what I haven’t done rather than what I have accomplished.

15. The first live concert I went to was New Kids on the Block. Not REM. Even though I tell everyone it was REM.

I could go on and on …. but I’ll stop now…

7/4/2012 : I found the source of this meme and wanted to give credit where credit is due! Jess Constable at Make Under My Life started it. Her friend EZ at Creature Comforts and a bunch of her tweeps ran with it. And the meme was born…

I think we may officially be round 5 of this linkup? Who knows, but it’s cool to be part of the movement.  :-)

*****

New to Honest Mom? Get the backstory on why I write naked.

I blog about my high-maintenance kids, write about dealing with depressionI do the memoir thing, and sometimes, I can be kinda funny.

Thanks for visiting!

Comments

    • says

      I swear, even if I shipped Hubs and the kids off to a vacation for a full week and all I was going to do was organize the house – it still wouldn’t get done.

      How have we gone through life without learning to do a cartwheel???

  1. says

    Fun list. I’m nosy, so I like reading these types of things. Plus, I can do a cartwheel AND the splits, so I feel special now.

    However, the first concert I ever went to was the Pointer Sisters when I was little and then Elton John. I haven’t been to one since (not because of those concerts, but because they’re just not my thing.)
    Abby recently posted… Sweet AdviceMy Profile

    • says

      You know, I loved going to concerts – especially Dave Matthews Band – but I always liked the recorded versions of my favorite songs better than the live versions. Which wasn’t cool to admit back then – so there’s admission #16 for you.

  2. says

    Hey, thanks for the mention.

    #3. I hear you. Totally across the board. You got more specific than I did. And I know it’s very upsetting.

    #8. Me, too. And I’ve decided it’s not my problem anymore. I blame it on the cat. Never mind the fact that his hair isn’t 10 inches long and chemically-processed.

    #10. I’m so sorry. That sort of childhood didn’t affect me personally but it did affect someone very close to me.

    #15. My first 45 record was Elton John & Kiki Dee’s Don’t Go Breaking my Heart. Not David Bowie’s Fame, like I tell everyone. Yes, I’m older than you but I had older cousins giving me their hand-me-down records so I’m not quite the dinosaur that this information would indicate.

    Oh, and finally … Things I’m Afraid to Tell You … you don’t have a #4. And I would never have noticed if I wasn’t responding to your answers numerically. :)

    Great list!
    OldDogNewTits recently posted… Check Your Email, Dude – It’s a Baby Shower!My Profile

  3. says

    What a great post. I love the honesty, which is why I love your blog. First of all, I applaud your love of the Science Fiction genre. I’m a big fan of Fantasy fiction, myself.

    As for the CCD thing, I totally get what your’e saying. I struggled with it for a while, too. I ended up enrolling my kids in CCD and going back to the catholic church. I’m happy with my decision. That said, I don’t agree with much of what the Catholic church preaches. But I take from it what is meaningful to me and I leave the rest.

    Be proud of the fact that you have dirt under your finger nails. That means your yard looks pretty!

    As for the stuff with your dad, I’m glad you have this outlet to discuss your feelings about it. And the fact that you are now anonymous means that you don’t’ have to hold back at all. Frankly, it’s probably better than therapy!
    Steph at The Healthy Mom recently posted… What is a good mom?My Profile

    • says

      Thanks, Steph. :-)

      Yes, I think my blog is better than the therapy I had been going to!

      As for the church … GAH. I don’t know what to do. To complicate things, Hubs’ family is VERY involved in the church. But man, every time I go, the priest gives some kind of insulting homily and I get all riled up.

      On Mother’s Day a few years back, the priest went on and on about how women who were in the workforce had to lose their femininity and become “more like men” and they became … I don’t think he used the word “bitches” but something close to it. The message: Women should be home and not in the workforce. Happy Mother’s Day, ladies in the house. We didn’t go back to that church, for sure.

      • says

        When I was deciding if I should start at the church I’m at now, I actually listened to some of the sermons online first. I liked them and they resonated with me. If I had heard the one you’re referring to, I would have been SO turned off!
        Steph at The Healthy Mom recently posted… What is a good mom?My Profile

  4. says

    #15 made me laugh. I don’t know if it was my first concert, but I did attend an NKOTB concert and had tickets for a second one when I came down with a stomach bug and had to watch my sisters go to the show without me. It was devastating (and very embarrassing now that I am all grown up and love small name bands who never see the light of mainstream media). I may or may not have been at the comeback performance on the Today Show in New York City in 2008. My sister won tickets, sweet nostalgia baby!
    Rose recently posted… Take it outsideMy Profile

  5. says

    Drinking….and drinking wine….are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS. sheesh
    Enough already
    When my kids were ….around the house (teenagers) they would always check to see if there was a wine glass in my vicinity before asking for a ride somewhere….There are times shhhhhh….I actually had ginger ale in the glass….hahahaha
    Just so I wouldn’t have to leave the house
    We were all (both them and me) very happy when they started driving

  6. says

    Also, I think stick out ears are adorable. My son has them (we are guessing he got them from my husband’s grandfather). When he is in the back of the minivan and the sun hits them just right, they glow.
    Rose recently posted… Take it outsideMy Profile

  7. says

    Hello Twin,

    Long time no see. :)
    #1-3 Yep. Except mine is just my thumbs. Total nervous habit.
    We are also struggling with what to do about Tuck being in 2nd grade next year. I home schooled him this year for the “sunday school” thing, but next year he has to go. I too feel a large void, but echo your thoughts.

    #10-Yep. He is mellowed out the past few years and after some trying things happened to our family. However, I too am working past my anger.

    #12-I’m with you there and I still find myself having nightmares about this man. Bad things happen to good people. I hate to think what would have happened if Chris had not been dropped in my lap. Long and short of it is he saved my life.
    NO exaggeration.

    #14-I gave up on this. I keep it sanitary for the kids, but I don’t count it a successful day with the kids unless I’m wading through toys on the living room floor.

    #15-My first LIVE concert was a concert I took my kid’s to see. A kid’s band. I shit you not. I still have not lived that little tidbit down today with my husband. :)

    Mine is here, which was also prompted by the fabulous ODNT: http://www.accordingtomags.blogspot.com/2012/06
    /things-im-afraid-to-tell-you.html

    Great post, JD!
    Mel recently posted… PICTURE THISMy Profile

    • says

      Seriously – are you sure you aren’t my half-sister? If you didn’t seem like you were my age or younger than me, I’d be convinced. But you’d have to be at least 10 years older than me, and I know you’re not – so, oh well…

      Re #12: That guy crushed me. I think my heart literally stopped for a moment the day he coldly looked at me in the college cafeteria and said, in front of a bunch of strangers getting salad at the salad bar, “I don’t love you anymore. Get over it.” You don’t bounce back from that too quickly. Oh, it still makes me ill to think about. And oh god, thinking of my girls possibly enduring that kind of heartbreak someday … it makes me want to cry!

      Re #15: If you weren’t obsessed with the Dave Matthews Band for like 10 years and went to every concert you possibly could, I guess you aren’t my half sister after all… ;-)

    • says

      BlogHer is in NYC in early August. I have never been. I went to a one-day conference called Bloggy Boot Camp last year and it was amazing to connect in person with my online friends, and I learned so much. I can only believe that BlogHer will be even more amazing!

  8. says

    My first concert was also NKOTB, but I’m not afraid to admit it – especially when I saw them in concert again 2 summers ago. Sure, I was the oldest one there and I was totally trying to relive my teenage years that night, but it’s all good.

    • says

      Thank you! So glad you stopped by. And I am jealous of your cartwheel abilities – I have no idea how I got through childhood without learning how to do one!

  9. Sarah says

    i worry that my girls will have my (old) nose. and be mercilessly teased the way i was. i’m already tucking money away for their inevitable rhinoplasty surgeries-i mean college. whatev.

    • says

      I think we all worry our kids will deal with the crap we dealt with. Anne is SO much like me, I have to remind myself she’s not actually a mini-me and has her own personality. But it’s hard…

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