I know how fortunate I am. How lucky my family is. Especially when so many families are struggling right now. I am not a religious person per say, but yes, I do thank God for all that I have.
And a big reason my family is doing great? Is my husband. If you’ve been reading my blog for a little while, you know I don’t talk much about him because he’s so private. But today, he’s in the spotlight. Because I’m looking for your advice.
Hubs is amazing, you guys. He is a supportive spouse, a fabulous dad, my best friend. He radiates love for the kids and me. When I was really struggling with depression and anxiety this year, he did everything and anything to help me get better.
And now – well, my day-to-day life seems to be so good. And I want Hubs to have that, too.
But instead, every day he goes to work so he can support our family. And me? Many days, I sit by the pool, tanning myself and watching the girls play while I chat with my friends.
That doesn’t seem fair, does it?
Now, of course, I work two or three days a week. And the other days that I am a SAHM, it’s not all pool parties and fun. I run errands, do the laundry, do the dishes, grocery shop, clean, and do all sorts of not-fun stuff to keep the house running.
And when I’m feeling guilty about the fun the girls and I are having at the pool, I look at it as payback for all the endlessly awful, cold New England days that I am stuck inside, breaking up ridiculous fights while we all go stir crazy and I stare at the clock, willing it to be 5:45 when Hubs gets home.
Yet … I know it sounds so childish … but it just doesn’t seem fair that Hubs has to go to work every day and I don’t.
Maybe if he adored his job like I adored my full-time job years ago, I wouldn’t feel so guilty. I don’t know. But I’m really struggling with this lately. It’s not like I think I should go work full-time so things are “even.” Who would that help?
I feel like the happiness balance is off. I’m enjoying the day-to-day. Hubs isn’t. And it needs to change. So…
Are you in this position, or have you been in the past? How have you handled it?
For the first time, I am linking up with Shell at Things I Can’t Say and her “Pour Your Heart Out” linkup. Since spilling secrets is totally my thing, I can’t believe I never thought to link up with her before now! 🙂