Does anyone else find that their kid manages to ruin most special occasions with some horrific behavior?
Please say it isn’t just me. Please?
Normally my kids, though they aren’t easy going and can be pretty high-maintenance, are decently behaved. Pretty average kids in that respect.
Except on an anniversary, minor holiday, or birthday. Not their own birthday, mind you. Other people’s birthdays. And not on Christmas or any occasion with gifts they will be receiving. They know not to eff that up with bad behavior.
But seriously. It’s like they save their very worst tantrums for days that are supposed to be joyous or fun occasions for someone who isn’t them. Which makes them sound like brats.
I don’t think my kids are brats. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re not. But why do they do this?
Take yesterday. It was Hubs’ birthday. We didn’t have any major plans. Hubs just wanted to hang out with his friends and relax.
Sadly, I was feeling like crap. Monthly hormone fun. Greaaaat timing. But, nothing that some drugs and a short nap couldn’t help. So Hubs was going to take the girls to the pool and I was going to lie down.
Hubs told Anne, our 6yo, that since Mommy needed to rest, he couldn’t go in the deep end of the pool with her. He and Anne would have to stay in the shallow end with Gracie, our 3yo.
And that, for some reason, sent Anne over the edge.
She had an epic tantrum that lasted an hour and a half.
I had to sit and listen to her freak out instead of napping and getting myself to feel better for Hubs’ evening birthday festivities. Which led to me yelling at Anne and of course feeling horrible afterwards.
And you know what really sucks as a parent? Once the tantrum was over, Anne bounced right back. Me? Not so much.
Anne was happily eating a snack and playing with her friends five minutes after her epic freakout – while I angerily endured my hormone-induced exhaustion and discomfort that a nap really could have helped.
I felt totally worn out and defeated. I was mad at myself for losing my cool and yelling at Anne when she was tantruming. I said some stuff I shouldn’t have said. I was pissed at her. I was pissed at me.
It took me some time and a beer with friends to bounce back. I put on my big-girl pants and pulled it together. But it wasn’t easy.
I am not sure what to do about these tantrums. Anne has been having them since she was four. They are far less frequent now. But when she does freak out, there is no reaching her.
She cries, screams, hyperventilates. I try to hold her. Doesn’t work. I ignore her. Doesn’t work. She goes on and on and ON for 30 – 60 minutes. Yesterday’s 1.5 hours was a new record.
I do think these tantrums will eventually go away. But for crying out loud, the kid is going into first grade! When’s it going to stop? And why do these tantrums happen on my or Hubs’ birthday, our anniversary, or other low-key occasion on which we’d really just like to have a nice, normal day?
Do you deal with high-maintenance kids who have epic tantrums for apparently no reason? What do you do?
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