3 minutes inside the head of a 36-year-old

You may have seen the hysterical post by Jason Good in which he gives you a 3-minute glimpse inside the head of his 2-year-old.

I read that again recently and thought, huh. I don’t think my head functions all that differently. Which is either a bit funny or a bit pathetic. Let’s find out.


3 Minutes Inside the Head of a 36-Year-Old

Upon waking up in the morning…

I’m tired.
That person climbing on top of me better be a hungry preschooler and not a hungry husband.
Ow. That was my spleen.
Stop climbing on me so I can get my coffee.
Oh look! Hubs brought me coffee!
Ahhhh, coffee.
What day is today? Monday? Wednesday? Thurfriunday?
Ooooh, pretty shiny ring. On my 3-year-old.
Where’s Annie? Is she still in bed?
I need to know what the weather’s like today.
Who put Dora the Explorer on?
What’s the chance that Dora could tell me if it’s gonna rain today?
So wait. What day is today? Tuesday?
OMG. It’s Tuesday. Annie’s still in bed.
Bus will be here in 39 minutes.
I didn’t make lunch yet.
Doesn’t Annie have to bring something for show-and-tell today?
Do we have peanut butter?
Man, I want peanut butter RIGHT NOW.
And chocolate.
Nutella. I want Nutella.
I must be PMSing. Or I’m pregnant.
Crap, could I actually be pregnant?
Why does my third toenail have no nail polish on it?
I have to go to Target.
Need to buy more peanut butter. And dryer sheets.
God, my spleen hurts. Or is that my appendix?
Huh. Do I have appendicitis? Nah.
God I’m tired. Hubs snores too much.
Oh. Buy nose strips for Hubs at Target.
I really hope Hubs is waking Annie up right now.
Oy, will I ever get real curtains for this room?
Which kid has dance class today?
What is Annie crying about?
I think I have a draft due for a client today.
Or is it the school newsletter that’s due today?
Christ, there is a PTO meeting today, isn’t there?
Why is Gracie so quiet in the bathroom?
Crap. She just flushed a whole role of toilet paper, didn’t she?
Must. Get. More. Coffee. NOW.

Am I the only one whose brain functions (malfunctions?) in this way?


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I blog about my high-maintenance kidsdealing with depression, and sometimes, I can be kinda funny.

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  1. says

    My brain used to work this way. These days, though, it’s much more slow. More like: The baby’s awake. Get the baby. Feed the baby. Ow, that hurts. Is Graham up? I don’t know if he’s up. Nevermind he’s up.

    I feel like I have a lot more empty space in my brain than I used to. A lot of that is probably parenting little kids. When I have two school-aged kids to get out the door, I expect insanity.
    Jessica (@jessicaesquire) recently posted… No Posts Were Found!My Profile

  2. says

    Yep me too! Sometimes I think I have ADD because I will go to do something, then get distracted by something else. And then I may or may not ever finish the first thing I started. It’s maddening, but unfortunately I think it’s the life and mind of a mom. Always going a mile a minute.
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted… My Dear Sweet JoeyMy Profile

  3. says

    Lol! This is so me! But the other day I’m trying to get out the door and I have my toddler on my (37 week pregnant) hip and while I’m trying to mentally check off the list of crap I need to take with me to run errands and go to lunch he is repeating melmo (Elmo) and Ba-ball (football) over and over and over again. It’s amazing that I ever leave the house.
    Tracy @ The UnCoordinated Mommy recently posted… Proudly Wearing My Mom BadgeMy Profile

  4. says

    Life with children. ;)
    Sounds very similar to mine.
    The three different blog posts I have scurrying around in my brain would be in there somewhere too. Hehe. ;)

  5. says

    So very relatable and so normalizing–thanks! Have to just focus on the show-and-tell bit..what the heck? I’m just going to take my child’s toy box into school and leave it there, that way the teacher can just have him pull something out of whenever she decides show-and-tell needs to happen, which apparently is ever 5 min.? Officially the delinquent mom who can’t keep up with this…
    Meredith recently posted… I Lit My Kitchen on FireMy Profile

  6. says

    Holy funny. Thank you for letting me borrow your thoughts for the time it took me to read your post. My mind has been absent all day. Sick baby, full moon…you get the picture. Great read!


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