3 minutes inside the head of a 36-year-old
You may have seen the hysterical post by Jason Good in which he gives you a 3-minute glimpse inside the head of his 2-year-old.
I read that again recently and thought, huh. I don’t think my head functions all that differently. Which is either a bit funny or a bit pathetic. Let’s find out.
3 Minutes Inside the Head of a 36-Year-Old
Upon waking up in the morning…
I’m tired.
I NEED COFFEE.
That person climbing on top of me better be a hungry preschooler and not a hungry husband.
Ow. That was my spleen.
Stop climbing on me so I can get my coffee.
GET OFF OF ME.
Oh look! Hubs brought me coffee!
Ahhhh, coffee.
What day is today? Monday? Wednesday? Thurfriunday?
Ooooh, pretty shiny ring. On my 3-year-old.
TAKE OFF MY WEDDING RING!
Where’s Annie? Is she still in bed?
I need to know what the weather’s like today.
Who put Dora the Explorer on?
What’s the chance that Dora could tell me if it’s gonna rain today?
So wait. What day is today? Tuesday?
OMG. It’s Tuesday. Annie’s still in bed.
Bus will be here in 39 minutes.
I didn’t make lunch yet.
Doesn’t Annie have to bring something for show-and-tell today?
Do we have peanut butter?
Man, I want peanut butter RIGHT NOW.
And chocolate.
Nutella. I want Nutella.
I must be PMSing. Or I’m pregnant.
Crap, could I actually be pregnant?
Why does my third toenail have no nail polish on it?
I have to go to Target.
Need to buy more peanut butter. And dryer sheets.
God, my spleen hurts. Or is that my appendix?
Huh. Do I have appendicitis? Nah.
God I’m tired. Hubs snores too much.
Oh. Buy nose strips for Hubs at Target.
I really hope Hubs is waking Annie up right now.
THE BUS WILL BE HERE IN 38 MINUTES!
Oy, will I ever get real curtains for this room?
Which kid has dance class today?
What is Annie crying about?
I think I have a draft due for a client today.
Or is it the school newsletter that’s due today?
Christ, there is a PTO meeting today, isn’t there?
Why is Gracie so quiet in the bathroom?
Crap. She just flushed a whole role of toilet paper, didn’t she?
Must. Get. More. Coffee. NOW.
Am I the only one whose brain functions (malfunctions?) in this way?
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My brain used to work this way. These days, though, it’s much more slow. More like: The baby’s awake. Get the baby. Feed the baby. Ow, that hurts. Is Graham up? I don’t know if he’s up. Nevermind he’s up.
I feel like I have a lot more empty space in my brain than I used to. A lot of that is probably parenting little kids. When I have two school-aged kids to get out the door, I expect insanity.
Jessica (@jessicaesquire) recently posted… No Posts Were Found!
No you definitely aren’t the only one. My brain functions the exact same way. Although to be honest, I have often suspected I might have ADHD
Kari recently posted… Color-coordinating your vagina
My brain was much the same then…now I am – ahem – older and slower – still searching for enough caffeine and the day of the week but don’t wake up with someone kicking my spleen.
nancy recently posted… Back to School is for Moms, too! (Psst…Cute shoe giveaway)
My brain works this way. All the time. Which pisses me off. It’s largely responsible for my insomnia because “she” doesn’t shut up until I drug her.
And there are many ways to drug her.
Great post!
OldDogNewTits recently posted… Today, I am thankful for … well, you’ll just have to read it (Trifecta)
Um, no you’re not! My brain works that way, too — a mile a minute. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
Steph at I’m Still Learning recently posted… My family outing and the things I learned
Yep me too! Sometimes I think I have ADD because I will go to do something, then get distracted by something else. And then I may or may not ever finish the first thing I started. It’s maddening, but unfortunately I think it’s the life and mind of a mom. Always going a mile a minute.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted… My Dear Sweet Joey
Seriously. This is your brain on kids… If there was a 12 step program I would’ve started the first step daily for 13 years and counting…
Lol! This is so me! But the other day I’m trying to get out the door and I have my toddler on my (37 week pregnant) hip and while I’m trying to mentally check off the list of crap I need to take with me to run errands and go to lunch he is repeating melmo (Elmo) and Ba-ball (football) over and over and over again. It’s amazing that I ever leave the house.
Tracy @ The UnCoordinated Mommy recently posted… Proudly Wearing My Mom Badge
Life with children.
Sounds very similar to mine.
The three different blog posts I have scurrying around in my brain would be in there somewhere too. Hehe.
I’m going to say that is completely normal brain function. Only because this is how I operate. : )
Ha ha that’s very funny and so inciteful although I don’t understand a lot of the ‘lady stuff’!
Mark recently posted… Why do we suffer from indecision?
Perfect! Exactly what my morning sounds like in my head!
Ninja Mom recently posted… Shopping Independence Day! I’m In The Powder Room.
My brain works that fast and then *poof* everything I needed from the store is gone from my brain never to return until after I come home from the store and touch the empty bottle of dish soap that was my entire reason for going to Target in the first place!
just keep swimming recently posted… An Honest Look at Swimming Telephone
Yup, this all seems a little too familiar. Except my husband doesn’t seem to be bringing me any coffee. WHY HAVEN’T I MADE COFFEE YET????
hollow tree ventures recently posted… Knock knock. Who’s there? Not me.
Yes! This is exactly how my brain works. Except I only have one child so my brain has no business being so scattered. But it is. Seriously, what day is it?
Yahoo! Thanks, Anna!
My mornings go a lot like this except for the whole coffee thing.
Lisa @ a little slice of life recently posted… DIY Tshirt Dress
So very relatable and so normalizing–thanks! Have to just focus on the show-and-tell bit..what the heck? I’m just going to take my child’s toy box into school and leave it there, that way the teacher can just have him pull something out of whenever she decides show-and-tell needs to happen, which apparently is ever 5 min.? Officially the delinquent mom who can’t keep up with this…
Meredith recently posted… I Lit My Kitchen on Fire
Yes, becoming mommy ruins your brain. I know the feeling.
Love the “hope that’s the toddler and not hubby” line. I usually avoid it by being up before him.
Mercy recently posted… A Holiday Outing
Holy funny. Thank you for letting me borrow your thoughts for the time it took me to read your post. My mind has been absent all day. Sick baby, full moon…you get the picture. Great read!