When did weekends stop being fun?

What do you do on your weekends?

Perhaps scenarios such as these are the norm for your family:

Idyllic days spent exploring the latest children’s museum…

Gathering with extended family to enjoy a cousin’s soccer game…

Watching your kids frolic at a class birthday party while you and your spouse chat with other parents and sip coffee…

Did I hear a snort of laughter? Yes?

Ah, then perhaps your weekends are more like mine:

ENDLESS LAUNDRY. I do six or seven loads of laundry, fold some, and leave the rest in heaps in the den, living room, and bedroom.

I grumble about hating laundry while Hubs reminds me that it wouldn’t pile up if we would each just do a load a few times a week.

Then I give him the hairy eyeball because I know he’s right but I also know doing laundry during the week is as likely as a personal maid showing up to do it for me.

GRUMPY CHILDREN. Hubs takes Anne to indoor soccer. I stay home with Grace. I subsequently endure 1.5 hours of whining and crying because she wants to go to soccer, too.

I then proceed to wonder why my younger child isn’t appreciating the mommy time she always seems to want when I have to work. Or when I am just trying to get five minutes – FIVE MEASLY MINUTES – to check Facebook. Or Twitter. Or email. Whatever. Just FIVE minutes.

(NON)QUALITY FAMILY TIME. Eventually we resort to throwing the kids in front of TV an embarrassing number of times in two days in order to pay bills, do dishes, make dinner, put away groceries, and fold that damn laundry.

The whole time, I feel immense guilt that I are not broadening my kids’ horizons with cultural activities. Then I feel immense horror at the gleeful yet glazed-eyed look the kids have while watching Sophia the First for the 146th time.

*sigh*

That’s generally what my weekends have been like lately. I don’t know if it’s because I’m working more. Or if it’s the crummy New England crap winter. Or if I am just a weak, bad parent. Maybe a little of all of those reasons. But I’m sick of it.

I’m tired of seeing friends “checking in” on Facebook at some lovely educational museum with their kids, and then some fun restaurant after, while I’m home scrubbing dishes and ignoring my kids.

I want to do fun things on the weekends with the kids and my husband. I want to find a way to have less chores and errands to do, and more time to hang out and relax. Or actually go somewhere fun. I hear there are places like that.

We just have to find a way to make it happen more often. But how, when bills have to be paid, clothes have to be washed, shopping has to get done, and so on?

How do you manage to do the necessary stuff on the weekends, but still have fun? Or have you been finding it almost impossible, too?

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Comments

  1. says

    I hear you. Weekends are hard. There’s so much pressure – like when you’re dating long distance and you finally see each other. Expectations like wanting more help from Hubs (who has a different agenda) don’t help. I think compare and despair is the problem here, at least for us. We’re not the family jetting off to St. Maarten anymore than we’ll (regularly) be the family getting out of the house at 8 a.m. to be first in line at the Aquarium. We can only do what we can – and as long as no one is coming over – the house can be slightly askew:-). Then I can fix things on Monday – ironically when things get easier. Good luck and take some pressure off yourself!
    momsnewstage recently posted… 10 Inappropriate, Insensitive Responses to Your Vomiting ToddlerMy Profile

  2. says

    You’re absolutely right that the fun stuff doesn’t happen often enough, and I’m right there with you on the six loads of laundry on the weekends. But, last weekend we did go to a children’s museum and my husband DID check us in on facebook – because I practically begged for it to happen. It had been a long time since we took a weekend afternoon to just do something as the four of us, and I saw the hole in the usually birthday party-drenched weekend and we took it. The last time we’d done it before that? April. It’s damn hard to find the time and it doesn’t happen often enough. But when it does, I’m going to be sure to enjoy it. Especially knowing how much time I spent doing the dishes and laundry again this weekend.
    Cheryl recently posted… Are Jim and Pam "Having It All?"My Profile

  3. says

    As a stay-at-home mom to 3 kids under age 5 I feel your pain more than you know! A couple things that help me is after the kids go to sleep I order a Mommy movie on demand or turn on American Idol AND fold laundry…it gives me a few hours to watch TV that isn't animated and fold laundry…a win-win! I'm still trying to find a better way to get the folded clothes out of the baskets and into the drawers and closets but atleast we're not all walking around a wrinkled mess! ; )

  4. says

    My weekends totally suck, too, and mine are quite like yours, catching up on doing all the things that need to be done and rarely getting a chance to just relax and have fun with my kid. I definitely don’t think it’s because I’m a weak, bad parent – and I don’t think you are either! Frankly I think the bad parents are the ones who make parents like us FEEL BAD for, you know, living our own particular lives with their own particular circumstances. Ugh. But yeah, it’s annoying. I honestly just try to ignore social media on my worst days because seeing everyone else’s great times pisses me off.
    Cheney recently posted… Day 27 – Grace in Small Things Sunday #6My Profile

  5. Cassandra Angeline Langley says

    I'm right there with you! I do my laundry during the week and clean house etc. on whatever days I have a free moment, but the weekends still pile up with stuff. My hubby works second shift so the only real time we get together and get to do stuff is on the weekends. That 'stuff' usually involves visiting an ungodly amount of stores to get lunch groceries etc. Every weekend involves a 5 hour shopping stint that leaves me exhausted and I get nothing else done. Sometimes I feel like trying to do stuff like laundry during the week just makes the whole week seem stressful.

  6. says

    I feel you on the laundry. It's the definition of futility! And I blame the weather (not much better here in the Mid-Atlantic), and the fact that we've all been sick for what feels like forever. Here's to hoping weekends get better by Spring!

  7. says

    I am with you 100%. I am even home all week and still have a hard time getting it all done. I wish I had a solution for you (and me), but I suppose all we can do is just keep on keepin’ on and try to make adjustments. This is a really great post and hopefully you get some really great suggestions that you won’t be afraid to share ;-)
    You Know it Happens at Your House Too recently posted… A Full Serving of Laughs With a Side of AdviceMy Profile

  8. says

    I hear ya! But I think it's about deciding what is more I portent on any given day. This weekend my children watched tv and played video games ALL WEEKEND because I just ad stuff to do. But the weekend before we put off grocery shopping and laundry and spent a day in the city. I think it's about balance and recognizing that you CAN'T do it all.

  9. Carrie Carrigan says

    <– single Mom with those same issues. The kids have chore lists as long as mine. Sports activities are a luxury, they don't get their chores done – they don't go to practice or their game. Number one rule – I give what I get. Do your chores half ass and I'll do mine half ass also, like cooking your dinner or your laundry. Even the youngest of children can be taught how to fold towels and wash cloths or put all the silverware away in the right slots. My housework is cut in half – we all chip in and usually completely done with everything by Saturday around 10am. Most times now they start their chores on Friday when they get home from school. And no, they don't get allowance for doing chores – that is part of being a family and helping out so that everyone can have fun time, not just them while I do it all. No Little Red Hens live in my house.

  10. says

    It’s so nice to hear someone else struggle with this weekend dilemma . lol It keeps the mom guilt from letting the kids watch so much tv at bay. I keeps saying it’s the weather and when the sun and warmth comes out so will we :)

  11. Jenny Keesler Principato says

    I'm almost positive I wrote this!! Lol. I am a full time working mother of 4 and I feel as if this is my life! And the kicker is that even though I do all these things very weekend, I feel as if it doesn't even make a dent in the mountain of housework!

  12. says

    OMG Yes! I recently wrote a post about how my weekends aren’t weekends anymore! (if you’re interested in commiserating, http://www.realmomofnj.com/2012/10/15/my-weekends-arent-weekends/)

    I used to think I was busy on weekends when I was in college. Then I thought I was busy on weekends when I got a job. Then I thought weekends were crazy when I had a house to maintain. Now? Forget it. I didn’t know what un-fun could be had on weekends before I had two kids!
    realmomofnj recently posted… Cloth Diapering UpdateMy Profile

  13. Courtney says

    I have been there! As your kids get older, the daily stuff will get easier which will free up your weekends. I have let lots go….life is too short to spend it in the daily grind. Hang in there. It will get better, or at least your kids will get old enough to do the laundry ;)
    Courtney recently posted… Praying for the Right WordsMy Profile

  14. says

    I can commiserate with you on this! I used to hate Sundays. Go to church, then everyone comes home, does nothing, and I clean and cook. WHAT? So now that the kids are older, we are usually going in separate directions and it’s not too bad. Often it was difficult to do something as an entire family, so we would divide and conquer. One parent per child and do something fun like a movie or go out to eat. That was actually pleasant.
    Frugalistablog recently posted… Reasons why I hate family game nightMy Profile

  15. says

    I think you’re normal. When I was married and a SAHM, we did a lot of those children’s-museum weekends, and they sucked. My ex felt like life should be a constant entertainment, and it only got worse with kids. So we’d go out, and after a couple of hours of “fun,” the kids would be completely overstimulated and acting like turds, and then we would get home, exhausted, and he would sit down to relax. Who still had to make dinner and eventually get to the housework and laundry and bills? You guessed it. This is one of the top 3 reasons why we divorced. Of course, there’s a point of moderation in all things, but I think most people end up using the weekends to regroup and attempt to avoid falling farther behind the domestic 8-ball.
    Kathleen (Middletini) recently posted… Merry and Sometimes Not So BrightMy Profile

  16. says

    I can totally relate. I find that, by the weekend I’ve already had more than my fill of kid time and just want to do things by myself, even if it is doing laundry.
    Jessica recently posted… BlinkMy Profile

  17. says

    Weekends are hard for me too. There is so much structure during the week then the weekend is sort of mish mash of STUFF. The birthday parties are the hardest . . . I’ve started rsvping no to more and more. With four kids, we just can’t get everyone to everything. I’ve learned to feel okay about saying NO.
    Nina recently posted… This is ThreeMy Profile

  18. Judy DeStefano Martinez says

    We just make ourselves get stuff done during the week since we love going out places rather than doing home. So I fold laundry after the kids are in bed. My husband is also awesome and does a lot of the cleaning. Don't hate me.

  19. says

    Oh, I *so* hear you. Some weekends we don’t manage it. I have to say, though, the weekends where we have the most fun are usually the weekends that come after a week where we stay on top of chores, bills, housework, etc.. and actively plan something to do on the weekends. It’s one of those things that *sounds* easy but is actually really challenging to do.

    I’m glad I found your blog!
    Larks (@LarksNotesThis) recently posted… We don’t hit people, Kevin.My Profile

  20. says

    I maintain that watching Sophia The First DOES give some culture. There. I said it. What it really sounds like is that you need to find a bit more balance in your weekends. I think it is important for kids to see the nitty gritty that their parents do. And its important for them to entertain themselves so you can get stuff done. As for our weekends, we’ve put a few things in place during our week that makes are weekends much more enjoyable. We’ve got auto bill pay for almost every bill. Which means that I just have to make sure there is money in the bank and the bills pay themselves. The laundry is NEVERending at our house too. I try to do a few loads during the week to keep on top of things. My washer has an automatic timer which I can set to start about an hour before I wake up. I can have that load in the dryer before we leave the house in the am. THAT really helps. Then, we just have to fold and put away. Good luck. You’ll make a new happier path.
    NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner recently posted… Pour Your Heart Out- A Pink Loving BoyMy Profile

  21. Katy says

    As a SAHM, I feel like my weekend suck, and its usually because my husband is home! I feel awful saying it, but during the week me and the kids have our routine. On the weekends, he sits in his recliner with the TV tuned to something that I would consider inappropriate for my four year old and his iPad in front of his face. I like getting out and doing something together as a family, and feeling like we’re actually interacting, but its hard to work around naps and such, so we usually just stay home.

  22. Threesacrowd says

    We always do the same thing on the weekends. Our biggest problem is that everything costs so much and we live in a SMALL community so you have to drive to a bigger city to do anything and STILL there is nothing much to do with 3 kids 6 and under!

  23. says

    I am a single mom in law school- I have a 4-yr-old girl- so I am with you on the chores. I have a midterm tomorrow, 2 meetings today, a job interview on Friday (!), and I have a class in 3 hrs that I haven't done the reading for. What did I do last night? After I got my kid to sleep (almost 2hrs late) I spent 2 hours cleaning the apartment. Only because it was getting hazardous to walk. I also have 3 loads of clean laundry to fold, but it can wait. I love weekends because I get to sleep more than 3~6 hours, but we tend to be in the same rut as you. It's very easy to let the days slip by without some fun time, but every Saturday we have "sleepover night" and lay blankets on the living room floor and watch movies. (The Little Mermaid about 90% of the time- wine helps!) Also, at least once or twice a month I let her pick an activity for us. Even when I know it's going to be a total disaster like ice skating, which lasted about 10 minutes. I like that she's trying new things; I know she'll remember our outings; and sometimes we get lucky and both have fun. Winter is hard, though. It's much easier to stop at a local park on the way home once a week. I make plans with other Moms sometimes- then I can't back out, and I'm usually glad I went. The laundry will never end, so go out anyway! I am going to sneak a shower before the child wakes up :)

  24. says

    i am obsessed with ur blog! reading every single word, and feeling like “did i write this??”. your honesty is so admirable and so REFRESHING!!!!!!!! u got a new loyal reader in me!

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