How being a mom is like being on a soap opera
We moms may wear yoga pants all day, every day. Drive minivans whose interiors are coated in Cheerios and raisins. And be lucky if we got to drag a comb through our hair in the morning, let alone shower.
The glamorous aspects of our lives are easy to miss, I admit.
But trust me. Being a mom is actually full of drama, mystery, and intrigue.
In fact, being a mom is strangely just like being in a soap opera.
Think about it:
Someone is always losing her memory at a very convenient time. “Did you use markers on this stuffed doggie to make it a ‘rainbow doggie’?” ”I don’t remember.”
Someone’s always coming back from the dead. Snow White’s head pops off and mommy fixes it. Baby Doll suffers a lethal gash to the abdomen and mommy sews it. A paper doll Fancy Nancy disappears and is presumed dead, but mommy finds it. They all come back. Resurrections galore.
Every day is filled with intrigue. What is that mystery smell in the basement? Who decided to color the rug with crayons? Where, for the love of God, is my kid’s beloved kitty cat that she lost for the third time today?
If there’s a secret to keep, it’s not going to be kept for long by the townsfolk. “Daddy, we made you a present for Father’s Day! But mommy told me not to tell you it’s a mug, so I can’t tell you what it is.”
Anytime two people are about to have sex, the scene gets interrupted. In soaps the interruption is in the form of a commercial, because daytime TV can only show so much. In parenting, the interruption is in the form of your kids. Or the dog. Or the iPhone pinging that you have a text. Not that I would ever look at a text during sex. That would be SO WRONG.
Characters tend to talk to themselves or think out loud. I walk around narrating my day, to the dismay fascination of my captive audience. I do it because it helps me remember what I am walking into a room to get, and not because millions of people want to know if I will, indeed, find the glue gun. But you know. Same difference.
An illicit sibling is eventually discovered. Oh, wait. Is that just me?
Someone gets possessed. Like Marlena in Days of Our Lives, I too, can become possessed. Not by a demon, per say. Unless you consider Pinterest a demon. Which I kind of do, considering its slightly scary grip on me. Piiiiiin meeeeee. Piiiiiin meeeeeeee. Did you just hear that?
There is a crime on a daily basis and everyone denies being the perpetrator. Ah, intrigue again! The crime: spilled maple syrup on the table, chair, and floor. The suspects: my two daughters, who vehemently deny any wrongdoing. Will the threat of no cookies after dinner make one of them snap and confess?
There’s a love triangle. In my house, we have a love triangle, that’s for sure. Me and my two daughters, who fight over whose turn it is for mommy to read, shower them, help them get ready for bed … you name it, I’m in the middle. Surrounded by crazy love.
People disappear from their beds in the middle of the night. And then reappear next to your bed. Looking for a glass of water at 2am.
See? Our days are positively filled with drama and mystery!
How is your life like a soap opera?
This fantastic. I am now actively going to try to keep this perspective that I’m in a soap opera throughout my day-to-day. Will make things seem so much more glamorous, plus there will always be the hope that some big surprise is lurking around the corner for when I start to get bored
Meredith recently posted… They Own Me
Lots of tears and dramatic exits, with stomp off, for no reason AT ALL.
Meredith recently posted… Not Every Night’s a Winner
Don’t forget all the fake crying.
Jessica recently posted… More Money, More Problems? SERIOUSLY??
Illicit sibling?? Nah… I only have an illicit aunt.
Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 recently posted… How to Stop Perpetuating Misinformation
This is hilarious and sooooo true! Especially the sex getting interrupted. **sad trombone**
hollow tree ventures recently posted… My Toddler: Genius or Tyrant?
So funny. I think you’re on to something with this soap opera thing.
~FringeGirl
The Domestic Fringe recently posted… 3 Things For A 13th Birthday
This is a great, great post. I loved it. I can identify with so many of your soap opera moments. I guess we are all living together in one big soap opera setting. Very, very funny. Also, this is my first link-up with your blog so a big thank you. Can’t wait to read more our of your posts.
Nikki | Days With Us recently posted… CINNAMON AND EXHAUST: a smelly story
So true!! Esp the memory part…and the not keeping secrets part…and the interrupting sex part. Ha!
RealMomofNJ recently posted… Hack Crafts for Ghetto Crafters
This is going to sound lame, but this post was brilliantly creative. You killed me with the amnesia, but I’m on the edge of my seat for another reason. DID YOU FIND THE GLUE GUN?? Ellen
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted… 10 Things We Never Dreamed to Dream
I did! I did! It was a mystery for about 15 minutes. Until I found it exactly where it was supposed to be – the last place I’d think to look.
This rocked it! A perfect analogy!
momsnewstage recently posted… Use Time Unwisely
HAHA! Pinterest is most definitely a demon! I loved this post. Absolutely hysterical and I can relate to almost everything. Ahhh the intrigue. =)
Ashley recently posted… Parenting in the Fire Swamp
You nailed it.
Kari recently posted… My little secret for getting the girl to sleep.
Love this post – too funny!
Dollops of Diane recently posted… How the Memory of my Mom Lives on in a Bear
This is my life too. Fights, fake tears, whining, demands from unruly mini-bosses. I feel like a slave most of the time.
And I hate dramatic soaps – I never watch them.
Mercy recently posted… Move Progress Update
haha – great analogy and SO SO true.
Debbie – Wrinkled Mommy recently posted… Welcome to The Herman and Wally Show: The Live Coverage of The Battle Of Mommy Bloggers
YES, this is so true. My daughter is full of dramatic exits and fake tears.
Amber recently posted… Things That Make Me Go "Huh?"
So great! This explains why I quit watching soap operas when I had kids. I didn’t need to watch it…I was living it!
Amy recently posted… Crock Pot Thursday: World’s Greatest Chili