Blog Tip Friday: Create your blogging tribe

HonestMom Create your blogging tribe.com2Blogging can be lonely and isolating. Which seems weird to say in this world of social media, but it really can be.

You write a post and throw it out there into the interwebs, essentially hoping if you post it (and promote it), they will come. It can feel very one-way. The opposite of social, really.

Sometimes it can seem like you’re shouting out into empty space, Hellllooooo? Anyone hear me? Anyone reading my posts that I slave over?

Well, there are tons and tons of other bloggers thinking the same thing. And I think the way to combat this feeling is to form your own blogging tribe.

Everyone always talks about “the blogging community” and how great it is. And it’s true! For sure. But having a blogging tribe takes the idea of the blogging community one step further, and makes it even more supportive, amazing, and personal.

Here’s the difference between the general mom blogging community and having your own tribe: I consider the community to be like a large college. You choose to be there because you think it’s a good fit for you. There are lots of great people there, many of whom you have a lot in common with. You love it and are so excited to be a part of it!

But it’s also really, REALLY big. Just like a large school, the blogging community can be overwhelming. Sure, you make a bunch of casual friends whom you chat with here and there (Twitter, Facebook). You sometimes hang out (visit and comment on each other’s blogs) and you enjoy it. And you go to big rah-rah events (BlogHer, other conferences) where you meet even more fabulous people.

It’s awesome, right? But … it’s not exactly personal. When you make a great connection in one of these large settings you might think to yourself, I wish I could hang out with this person. We share the same blog topics. We have similar senses of humor. We are both completely awesome. We’d totally be besties!

(Or maybe I just think things like that.)

Anyway, it’s like back when you started college and you craved a group or two of girls that you knew you could depend upon for support and laughs. And when you found them, these groups became your tribes – where you ultimately made your best friends. For me, one tribe was my school’s dance organization. The other was my roommates.

In the blogging world, my tribes are my Facebook groups.

One is a private Facebook group (“secret”) and one is the kind you apply to (“closed”). The private one was formed by one of my blogging friends who invited a few bloggers she knew. The other is Boston Parent Bloggers, which any parent blogger in the Boston area can join.

These groups are where my closest blogging buddies are. I found BPB through one of my very first blogging friends, Jessica at Don’t Mind the Mess, and I have made some great personal and business connections through it. The other group also has some of my first blogging friends in it, and it’s a place in which I learn, laugh, and vent.

A big part of both groups is supporting each other’s blog posts, giveaways, etc. Having a critical mass of bloggers post, tweet, and pin each other’s blog posts is HUGELY helpful! It vastly expands even a small blogger’s reach and as a result, my little blog has grown leaps and bounds in a short amount of time.

Not only that, but these groups are places where I know I will always be supported when something big is going on. When I was going on Katie Couric’s show, the women in these two groups were instrumental in spreading the word and supporting me emotionally. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without my tribes!

Do you have a tribe? How do you help each other? If not, is starting a Facebook group something you’d be interested in? Tell me in the comments and in another post, I’ll go through the how-to’s!


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36 Replies to “Blog Tip Friday: Create your blogging tribe”

  1. I don’t have a blogging tribe and I need one! I feel like I need some sort of “big sister” (no, I wasn’t a sorority girl!) The community is awesome, but you need that tight group…my moms group is there for the parenting stuff and I’d love to find one for blog stuff.

  2. I’m in the process of launching my blog and as you may or may not know I live in Natick. I met Jessica online and other Boston parents and was invited to join the FB group. I’m so excited to have the resource as a new blogger and the feeling of “I belong.” This post was great! I’m hoping to finally finish my first post so I can launch my log! Hope one day we can meet through BPB!

  3. You are so right. I am just starting to find those like minded bloggers. It’s hard to keep everyone in place and to remember to share the love. How do you do it? Do you organize specific time to share the love, or do you just react to posts and requests for shares?

  4. I’m in a couple FB groups like that. One is Bloppy Bloggers, anyone is welcome to join. When I joined there were about 70 members, but now it’s up to about 200. That’s made it really hard to keep track of people/blogs, but they are a very friendly and supportive group, so I stay fairly active. The trouble I’ve had recently is that I’ve made so many contacts and friends through networking and these groups that I don’t have time to return favors or read blogs. It’s overwhelming! Sadly, I LOVE some of these blogs, but even my favorites I don’t have time to read more than once a week, if that. Then there are the bloggers from the groups that I want to support and have found the person very helpful with answering questions, etc., but because their blog has nothing to do with any of my interests, I read them once and no more. Then I feel guilty, especially if they read mine religiously. What do you recommend in that situation?

  5. Yes! Blogging tribes are immensely helpful, not just to promote each other, but to support each other. I’m part of a secret FB group, and we share posts, but mostly, we are friends who share information and who support each other through the good and bad of blogging, and life. I am so grateful for my little tribe. 🙂

    1. I love this. I am so grateful for the women in my tribe. More than the techy help, I love the friendships. I know I can blurt out anything and get big love in return. There are many times IRL, that I think “I can’t wait to see what the group has to say about this!”

  6. This is a great idea. It makes sense and I’m noticing that part of forming this tribe means learning the slightly altered social skills used for social media. I tend to use lots of !!! and 🙂 to make sure everyone knows I’m joking or being nice…clearly I’m still a beginner. !!!!:)

  7. Building a tribe is so hard. I blog about lots of stuff, but my story revolves around addiction mainly. To help others who have dealt with prescription drug addiction. Usually, someone in the midst of addiction is not exactly the blogging type…unless they are already on the other side of it. There are so many moms hiding behind drug addiction, not even realizing the panic they would feel if they didn’t have the prescription they needed. (NOT referring to antidepressants…I’m referring to the Xanax types and Hydrocodon’s out there). I’m a pharmacist and mom of three and Jesus follower, and was blindsided by addiction to narcotics. How stupid did I feel????? Anyway, working diligently on my tribe. Like you said, if enough people tweet and share, eventually my story will reach those who need it. (And if course if I’d get off my butt and finish my book!) Thanks for the great post!

  8. Oh, I so desperately need a tribe. I just stared blogging about 2 months ago and I feel like the awkward, new girl who just moved to town trying to fit in with the cool kids who have been friends since they were in diapers. I’d love to read more about how to actually do this.

  9. I am still trying to find my tribe. It usually takes a while for me to feel like I fit in socially, and blogging has been the same! I guess I feel like I have a perspective that is a little different.

  10. One of the most shocking things that I learned when I started blogging was HOW much you had to work the social scene or else it felt like you were writing for crickets. It takes work and effort to build relationships on the web, just like in real life. Ellen

  11. Great tips! One thing I've found frustrating is that my regular, non-blogging tribe tells me what a great writer I am but never share my posts or comment. They share other blogs. I try not to take it personally but I'm stumped.

    1. Melanie you hit the nail on the head, I'm experiencing the exact same thing as you, it's hard to even get close friends and family to like my fb page for my blog but yet they like other friends' pages, it's like they are jealous or something, I try not to take it personally, but it's hard not to. Or what about those friends who have pages for their businesses, etc that you like but won't return the favor.

  12. You are absolutely right. I have a great group of blogging friends and the support is phenomenal but I have had a hard time finding an Aussie 'tribe'. I'd love to extend my blogging circle as I grow – any special handshake I need to know to gain access to your secret group? ha!

  13. I am also glad that I read this- I didn’t even know that such groups existed. I often feel like I am writing to crickets on my blog, I’m glad that I’m not the only one, and I’m happy to hear that I can find groups to belong to- now off to track some down 😉

  14. Good post. So what you’re saying is, I’m alone. But not in feeling alone. In feeling alone I’m not alone. Good. I’ll just go back to my hole now.

  15. It’s so true! I had no idea how true it was until I started making “friends” with bloggers. It makes all the difference in the world. As a writer, I’m so used to thinking of writing as a solitary activity. Blogging, however, is just not.

  16. Love this article! Do you have any tips on how to find like-minded blogging groups via Facebook? I’ve been blogging for about two years, and I’m ready to start networking! I’ve become friends with a few bloggers, but I’m ready for a community of support. Thanks!

  17. Such a good post. My first blog is my foodie one which I launched 3 years ago. I just started up a mommy one 3 months ago & I forgot how hard & frustrating it is at first. Like some people mentioned in the comments, I feel like the new girl in school trying to reach out to those that have been friends since birth. I post links to my blog on FB & Twitter, but I get barely any traffic! It’s really depressing considering how many friends I have on FB. I would love to join a FB mom group but I don’t know where to begin!

    1. Hey everyone! For those of you that subscribed to receive follow up comments — I tried to connect with all of the mom bloggers! I just had an idea and will eventually send you a direct email, but if you’re interested, I’d love to share you #1 tip (short- 1 to 2 sentence answer/with a link to you site — This includes you too JD ;-)) But I’d love to put together a compilation list of your #1 tip to help ease, get through, help out mom’s get through unplanned momma drama. This can be anything! Parenting, depression, miscarriage, discipline, organization, work from home, or work out of the home, relationships, etc…If you’re interested — Please email me — JD — I love your tips and this one really helped inspire me — THANK YOU!!!!

  18. I don’t belong to a tribe but found this article looking to find out more about them. It sounds like you belong to some really good groups. Looking for an “Honest Dad” to add to any of them? 🙂

  19. Amazing! I love how you support each other! I’m pregnant again and want to write about having a baby and a teenager! Will be in touch! Thanks!

  20. great article. just what i was needing to hear and read about right now. I can’t seem to find the right tribe yet, everyone seems to already know everyone already and being the newcomer has never been my strong point. I am much more comfortable in small groups. i was so hoping online would be a different side of me.

  21. Thanks, I'm trying to find my tribe also. The thoughts you discibe are exactly the ones that are on my mind. Only the thought of going to such a big event seems so out of reach… Not sure if the real big events like that also take place in Europe, I have to dive into that… Thanks!

  22. Thats my other fb account…. Hihi Anyway as I was saying: Thanks, I'm trying to find my tribe also. The thoughts you discibe are exactly the ones that are on my mind. Only the thought of going to such a big event seems so out of reach… Not sure if the real big events like that also take place in Europe, I have to dive into that… Thanks!

  23. What a great read! Blogdom can definitely be lonely, but I’m hoping to join up with some blogging ladies on here and hopefully get a little more traffic….and friends!

  24. I have created a christian blogging tribe on facebook for any christian blogger who wishes to join a tribe. the name is Blogging Tribe Christian Bloggers join me on facebook to benefit from the experience of having a tribe.

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