7 Reasons Why Two Kids Is (more than) Enough for Me

7 reasons two kids is enoughA whole bunch of my friends are having third babies right now. Seeing the sweet little pumpkins and their perfect little baby faces gets me more than a little melty.

I love babies. Always have, always will. So sometimes my uterus twitches a bit when I hold the little bundles of joy.

But then I come to my senses.

Hubs and I are so all set with our two girls. Our family is complete. And I’m pretty sure if we we had another kid, the very delicate, slight bit of balance we’ve finally achieved would crumble to sad, pathetic little bits.

There are so many reasons why two kids is just right for me and I really don’t need a baby in my life…

No more diapers. There is just nothing pleasant about wiping excrement off a person’s butt, no matter how cute that little butt is. And I do not miss diaper blowouts in carseats or on my lap. Or projectile poop. Not one bit.

Man-on-man defense. Right now, if both kids are tantruming, Hubs can deal with one and I can deal with the other. What would we do if there was also a screaming baby? The idea makes me want to crawl into the fetus position and start sucking my thumb. I can handle the truth: I’m just not mom enough.

No minvan needed. I know, I know, many of you love your minvans. But for me, getting a minivan is a symbol that I’ve succumbed to mom servitude. It’s a sign that I’ve conformed to suburban standards. It screams, “I AM NO LONGER COOL.”

Sure, all this may actually describe me and my life, but I’m not ready to admit it. And with only two kids? No need to.

We are finally sleeping again. Gracie didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was 3.5 years old. I really am not sure how I made it through those years. Or how she did, either. I can’t do that again. End of story.

Playing with my kids can be fun now. When my kids were toddlers, “playing” with them meant doing something over and over and over for their enjoyment. Build a tower. Let kid knock it over. Repeat 324 times. Yawn.

Now we do interesting things! We go to fun places! And I don’t want to gouge my eyeballs out from sheer boredom!

I get dumber with each kid. My slowly-declining IQ can’t handle me having another kid. I swear each child has melted my brain cells. Hubs too. We have conversations that make so little sense, we don’t even understand them while we’re having them.

Here’s how it goes: We begin to have a reasonable discussion for a couple of minutes. Soon we start to trail off mid-sentence without finishing our thought. Then we forget what it was we were talking about, give up, and jump to another topic. Nothing gets fully discussed or resolved. Which is why nothing ever gets done around here. Ever.

More than enough hormones in this house already. I swear my seven-year-old is already PMSing along with me. And the four-year-old copies her. If we had another kid, it would most certainly be another girl, and I don’t think Hubs could handle that.

As it is, he has gotten a terrifying glance into his hormone-filled future and has decided to start a six-year-long business trip when Annie turns 12. Thanks, Hubs.

Are you in the two-kid club? Or are you a brave soul who’s outnumbered by your offspring?


Honest Voices linkup at HonestMom.com

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44 Replies to “7 Reasons Why Two Kids Is (more than) Enough for Me”

  1. HA! You made me laugh out loud! This list is AWESOME and totally accurate. I really wish I’d read it before I had three. I totally get dumber with each kid! You’re hilarious. Thanks for the giggle! 🙂

  2. We were in the two-kid club and then decided to have a third. Family life is full of fun, but there’s no question adding #3 ups the cray-cray factor by about 1,000. Can only imagine like with 4 or more kids!

  3. I am so with you. Two girls is all we need. The world just…FITS for families of four. My two best girlfriends are planning big broods, and more power to them, but for all the reasons you stated, I know we’re done. I love squishy babies, but not enough to start diapers and nursing and up all night all over again.

  4. Ha! I am definitely getting dumber with each kid and also probably done with just 2. But still…I fantasize about that third. I probably always will.

  5. We’re pregnant with our 4th and LAST. I grew up surrounded by a big extended family on both sides, so I thrive in kiddie chaos, most of the time. I am EAGERLY awaiting the diaperless years though, and family vacations that don’t involve packing baby gear.

  6. I am in the two kid club for all of these reasons
    And adding that I will not take another ppd chance.
    I can't physically handle pregnancy, none less less
    Mentally and financially. I'm set 🙂 I love my complete
    2 boys family 🙂

  7. This is totally where I am at right now! I love those cute little babies, but I am INSANE on the low sleep that I get with babies in the house. Plus college costs scare me enough as it is! Thanks for the reminder!

  8. My husband and I were each finished with two – it seemed like just the right number of kids. Of course, when we got married that made 4 kids all together. Then we realized our family was missing one more sweet little face… But TRUST ME, at 5 kids, WE ARE FINISHED.

  9. I’m on my way to Weansville with my second daughter and this is getting me all kinds of sad about the end of babies. But like you, I am not brave enough to have the children outnumber the adults in our family, am too busy preparing for the battle of hormones and am going to need what brain cells I have left. Cheers to two and cheers to you. Thank you for link-up!

  10. I’ve got 3 so I’m outnumbered. Actually, when I had 2, we were hoping for a break since they were so close, but one forgotten condom and #3 showed up sooner than hoped. The bright side? I had my tubes tied when she was born so now I know I’m done. And hubby is happy for no more condoms. 🙂
    Things are getting easier now that the baby is 2 1/2. It was insane when she was born as the eldest had just turned 3 and the middle one was only 19 months old. Life was one big blur for the next 2 years. I finally feel like things are balancing out, though I totally get the brain mush, and the hormones. Whenever either of my girls are crying over something silly, hubby will ask them if they are PMSing, and they are 4 and 2 1/2. I think he’d love your hubby’s plan. Better not let him find out about it. 🙂

  11. It’s funny, I thought three was a GREAT idea until the morning I saw a little pink line on a plastic stick. 🙂

    I love having a gaggle of little girls, and as crazy as it is, I still feel like there’s room in this family to love on a couple more babies. <3

  12. I have begun following you on bloglovin and I love your blog! Honest as the day is long! I also just purchased the “pee alone” that I’ve been intending to buy–can’t wait to read this collection from lots of great mom bloggers. Great post, great site. P.S. I think I came to your conclusions after my first, so he is it for us. 🙂 Plus he has an older half sister who can also babysit so, we’re all good.

  13. Hubs and I are strongly considering stopping at one. Everyone says “of course you can handle two, it’s easy!” but I have health issues (physical and mental), and I’m really very happy with our little family. I think even two would push me into “too much to handle” territory and I’d rather have a small, happy family than an average-sized miserable family. It’s all about what feels right to you.

    1. Sara…stick to your guns….2 is not twice as hard as 1, it’s about 100 times harder. Take it from one who knows!

  14. I loved this post, and I am also squirming as we are on the fence about adding a third child. We have two girls also, and I too love babies, but…you make some really good points. Sigh. I think we might go for it, but I keep coming back to the sleep thing…and the zone defense thing…and, would I go insane a little with a third baby?

  15. Couldn't agree more! I would also add… they suck away your looks…the more bags under those eyes…the doughy-ier body that is more difficult to get back to normal (mmmm fishies in the car seat…lunch!) And…I like my hair. The post-hormonal loss of hair would make me look like a Rogaine for Women commercial. I am all set with that. Thanks!

  16. We had to stop at one. The doctor said I’m “allergic” to being pregnant and that’s why I barfed for 10 months straight. My daughter has the same sleep disorder my husband has so I didn’t get any sleep until she was 6 when the doctor approved Benadryl. What really stopped us was my threatening to do the vasectomy herself with a butter knife. Don’t screw with my mom!

  17. I am in the two kid club…for now…I sometimes want to leave the club and join the crazies but my husband is perfectly content in the two kid, we are not outnumbered club. Your post had me laughing though and maybe did him a few favors. The lack of sleep and the repetitive play UGH!

  18. We are totally outnumbered and just used to the craziness I guess. Sometimes I actually want more *whispering quietly so my husband doesn’t have me committed*.

  19. I'm in the 2 kid club now… and it took a LOT to even get me here. 3 just isn't an option for us. More money, more problems and more stressed out moments for me. The hubs is gone on business a LOT so trying to do 1 on 3 defense? Bad odds. And honestly? The idea of being pregnant again makes me want to cry.

  20. I'm in the Two Club too!! No diapers and sleep are the best! They are T the age that I don't have to get out of bed on Saturday morning. They can turn the TV on and I can listen from bed. LOL I can't even think about starting all over!

  21. I was happily in the 2 club. Then I got pregnant and adjusted to the idea of having three. Then I found out I was pregnant with twins. So I went from 2 to 4. I am mostly done freaking out and moved into excited, but I will live vicariously through all your stories of fun places with no diaper blow outs LOL.

  22. Definitely # 3!!!! I’ve always said the same thing. I refuse. I don’t care that I live in the suburbs w/ 2.5 kids & live the life of an indentured servant, a mini van would just be admitting defeat.

  23. I’m in the one club, and very happy. My health dictated that I be in this club after giving birth to my beautiful baby girl. Ok. She’s six now. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I seriously don’t know how moms of more than one do it. As long as we love the ones we have. . . all is right in the world. Kudos to all of the moms out there.

  24. Yep, right there with you. Two is perfect for us, and I don’t want to throw off the balance. Not to mention, I’m never intentionally going to risk PPD again. I actually begged Hubs for a minivan. I know, what’s wrong with me?? I love having all the room. The rear seat completely disappears, so it’s great for the double stroller, groceries, and everything else we haul to and fro. 😀

  25. Ha ha, so true! I’m in the one-kid club and I’m still catching up on sleep from when my daughter was two. She’s 19 now.

    Got rid of the mini-van years ago and now I’m rocking the sleek-looking Honda civic with a manual transmission — with the stickman family figures at the back.

  26. Sorry I just got to reading this now. Life has been HEECTIC! I totally agree. With the enough. We might have done two, but since hubs fish don’t swim, and adoption was a bank breaker, we have one. Just right. Every once in a blue moon I think maybe…then I create THE EXACT SAME LIST you have, Minus the hormone thing because he’s a boy. Add in the testosterone thing. Plus with one more how would you all stay in one hotel room together?

  27. I’m in the two-kid club! And I feel like minivans are tantamount to huge tote-bag-like purses–the bigger your car or purse, the more kids or stuff you put in there!

    Visiting from Finding the Funny. 🙂 (I’m right behind ya-45 on the link-up)

  28. I was in the two-kid club for 9 awesome years. Then our shock-and-awe #3 came along, and I can honestly say every single thing on your list is true! I love my punkin like a crazy person, but our balance totally fell! I’m still rebuying things I thought we were done with (although that’s almost over now, too). I am still relearning patience and how to play those not very fun games, and I am certainly losing my marbles. My IQ is plummeting. The only thing I’d disagree on is the car. I just upgraded to an SUV with a 3rd row, and she is HOT. Way sexier than my old SUV. 🙂

  29. Thank you for summing up why I've never joined the mini van brigade. "…But for me, getting a minivan is a symbol that I’ve succumbed to mom servitude. It’s a sign that I’ve conformed to suburban standards. It screams, “I AM NO LONGER COOL.” I've never been able to explain why I don't want one. And I'm a one and done, but I agree completely with everything you said.

  30. I have 3 and my husband has 3 so that makes 6… And we want 1 together…. I know crazy right… But I really enjoyed your thoughts… They all make perfect sense… Wish I’d read this a long time ago… But with the more kids you have the more fun you have.. And honestly the more time you get to yourself, the older ones entertain the younger ones… Its a blast!!!

  31. I would never have another baby. Unless we won the lottery. And then having a kid because you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do with him/her seems a little, well, bad. So, yeah, we are fine with two. A boy and a girl. Done and done.

  32. We just had our second baby, another girl! I am soooo happy with my two girls and don’t plan on adding a third . Some of my friends’ have 3, 4, 5 and even 6 kids. Great for them! But it’s not for me. I think it’s wonderful that you know your limits and what works for you and your husband. One of the most important parts of a family is the love, peace and joy that comes from living life together.

  33. I’m in the diaper & sleeplessness stage as of now and I assure you–it’s NO FUN! After reading this article, 2 boys are enough for our family! I love having my camry! I definitely don’t want the soccer mom minivan or anything remotely close. Even the Toyota Venza freaks me out!

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