There’s a reason women say they have “mom brain.” Even though I make lists upon lists in an attempt to clear my head of all the to-dos racing through it, my brain never.stops.moving.
From the moment I wake up until the time I fall asleep, it’s filled with things to do and thoughts I should act on that second or else I’ll forget them. Like the way I forget where my keys are or if today is a daycare day or if I have two or three kids. (Answer: two. But the mess in my house makes it look like there has to be another one somewhere.)
A while back, I stumbled upon this hysterical post by Jason Good in which he gives you a 3-minute glimpse inside the head of his 2-year-old.
I read that again recently and thought, huh. Now that I think about it, my mind doesn’t function all that differently. Which is either a bit funny or a bit pathetic. Let’s find out.
3 Minutes Inside the Mind of a Mom
Upon waking up in the morning…
I NEED COFFEE.
A small person is climbing on top of me.
Ow. That was my spleen.
Stop climbing on me so I can get my coffee.
GET OFF OF ME.
Oh look! Hubs brought me coffee!
What day is today? Monday? Wednesday? Thurfriunday?
Ooooh, pretty shiny ring. On my 5-year-old.
TAKE OFF MY WEDDING RING!
Where’s Annie? Is she still in bed?
I need to know what the weather’s like today.
Who put Dora the Explorer on?
What’s the chance that Dora could tell me if it’s going to rain today?
So wait. What day is today? Tuesday?
OMG. It’s Tuesday. Annie’s still in bed.
Bus will be here in 39 minutes.
I didn’t make lunches yet.
I didn’t pack Gracie’s backpack.
Doesn’t Annie have to bring her class project in today?
Did Annie ever DO that class project?
Lunches. Lunches first.
Do we have peanut butter?
Man, I want peanut butter RIGHT NOW.
Nutella. I want Nutella.
I must be PMSing. Or I’m pregnant.
Crap, could I actually be pregnant?
Huh. Why does my third toenail have no nail polish on it?
I have to go to Target.
Need to buy more peanut butter. And dryer sheets.
God, my spleen hurts. Or is that my appendix?
Do I have appendicitis? Nah.
Oh GOD I’m tired. Hubs snores too much.
Note to self: Buy nose strips for Hubs at Target.
I really hope Hubs is waking Annie up right now.
THE BUS WILL BE HERE IN 38 MINUTES!
Oy, will I ever get real curtains for this room?
Which kid has dance class today?
What is Annie crying about?
I think I have a draft due for a client today.
Or is it the school newsletter that’s due today?
Christ, there is a PTO meeting today, isn’t there?
Why is Gracie so quiet in the bathroom?
Crap. She just flushed a whole role of toilet paper, didn’t she?
Must. Get. More. Coffee. NOW.
Am I the only one whose brain (mal)functions in this way?
PS – Full disclosure: This is a slightly reworked post from a couple years ago because I’m on vacation and I’m trying to let my brain relax. Which I’m having various degrees of success with. Because I’m a mom. But I figured a lot of you weren’t Honest Mom readers two years ago so this is all new to you and you know what? Why I am even telling you this? I’m off to do something away from the computer that may or may not involve day-drinking. Because I can.