It’s finally fall here in New England. It’s a fickle season, isn’t it? One day it’s a sunscreen day, the next day it’s 45 degrees and raining. Fall isn’t exactly consistent around here, but as sure as the changing leaves on the trees and the pumpkin spice latte in your hand, you’re bound to see and experience these autumnal treasures. Ahem.
1. As a result of overenthusiastic apple picking, you have 17 apples sitting in the fridge and 15 more sitting on the counter. You tell yourself you’ll make pies. You never do.
2. Right after you go through the chore of packing away your warm-weather clothes, there is a week of 75 degree weather.
3. The Christmas decorations start filling the shelves at Target before you’ve even bought a single pumpkin.
4. You’re woken up at 7:30am on a Saturday by your neighbor’s leafblower, lawnmower, or rooster (damn you, suburban chicken coop trend).
5. While waiting in line at the coffee shop, you spend way too much time debating in your head whether it’s a “care-a-mel” or a “car-mel” latte.
6. The prospect of an extra hour of sleep from “Fall Back” makes you giddy with excitement.
7. Two words: Pumpkin beer.
8. Your husband always seems to be protesting, “But honey! The Game is on!” And you always seem to be rolling your eyes and handing him a basket of laundry to fold anyway.
9. Your neighborhood is decorated with warring political signs, which leads to some less-than-neighborly moments at the monthly ladies’ bunco night.
10. On the day after Thanksgiving at 7am, your overachieving neighbor is trashing the pumpkin paraphernalia and putting up the Christmas lights.
11. Meanwhile, your underachieving neighbor is taking down her hanging planters filled with brown, frost-bitten flowers and removing her “Welcome, Spring!” house flag.
12. But on the day that you decide to take down the fall decor? It snows.