Can I put a doily on her head and call it done? And other last-weeks-of-school ruminations.

18.5 days. That’s how many school days are left for us. And I tell you, I am waving the white flag. Waving it high.

I want to be done. I want to just say WHATEVER to the science project display board, backwards crazy hair day, and the kindergarten reading marathon fundraiser.

I mean, when are we supposed to have time to help our kids get pledges for a fundraiser in the last weeks of school? In that 23 seconds I have after I help my kid with homework while I also cook for teacher appreciation week and before dance recital rehearsal? Don’t forget work and laundry and all the normal crap. Yes, this is the perfect time for a fundraiser! Great idea!

And then my third-grader comes home with the very thrilling news that she gets to be Florence Nightingale for her Living Museum Project. And she has to dress up just like her. And this is happening soon so we have to get her costume ready.

This should be easy to re-create. Think I can put some doilies on my kid’s head and call it a day?
This should be easy to re-create. Think I can put some doilies on my kid’s head and call it a day?

You know, I say I’m waving the white flag, but really I’m making a flag. A (loosely interpreted) American flag in my kid’s hair with hair chalk. We’re practicing for her school concert because she has to look patriotic and somehow we can’t find any red, white, and blue clothing in the half-folded mishmash of winter and summer clothes that is in every drawer of her dresser. Because I just can’t find time to sort through them right now. BECA– USE FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE. Maybe there’s a red shirt in the festering pile of laundry that mocks me every time I pass it?

Ah, crap, I’ll just do the freaking hair chalk. That’s easier than tackling the laundry. There’s a duvet cover in there that we used in the winter and it scares me. (Because it’s May.)

You know, I think I might end up stealing Jen Hatmaker’s Worst End of School Year Mom Ever crown. Because instead of listening to my kindergartener sloooooowly read out loud to me for 20 minutes so she can get another star for her reading marathon chart, I’m thinking about wine and how good it tastes and how much I want some. Sweet Jen Hatmaker is singing church hymns in her head while her kids read. I’m daydreaming about alcohol. I win.

18.5 more days. We can do this, fellow moms. We can.

And if your kids are out of school already and complaining they’re bored, send them on over. I’ve got a Florence Nightingale costume project with their names written allllll over it.

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30 Replies to “Can I put a doily on her head and call it done? And other last-weeks-of-school ruminations.”

  1. OMG…..I feel your pain. I just had to get my 4th grader dressed for his PROM! Really what 4th grader needs prom with kings and queens. And he still has about 2 weeks left. We can do this….Its almost over

  2. I think the school just come up with stuff to keep us busy until the last damn minute. Seriously, we have about 4 weeks left (until June 26th here) and I have lost count how many events and such we have in these last few weeks. But am with you and over done like yesterday!!

  3. Oh honey! I had the Febreeze out just yesterday. You know, so my 13 yr old could wear her long sleeved t shirt (from the polar bear plunge on New Year’s Day) to go on a science field trip to the woods in the muggy Spring weather. #IFEELYA
    Ands I can’t stand all the fundraisers ANY time if year. They never end!
    Personally, I honestly feel school should be year round, summer presents a logistical childcare nightmare for me, but if that’s your thing I wish you good luck and godspeed to summer!

    1. Yes. Yes, they do. I got guilted into buying a tote I don’t need because I thought it was the last fundraiser of the year. Surprise! We’re having another one!

  4. It’s ironic that Florence is part of The Living Museum project because she kind of looks dead in that picture. Like … I think she might be posed post-mortum. For real. Hilarious post!

  5. Me! One kid’s last day is June 10, other one’s is June 17th. And thanks for being one of the only internet writers out there to spell “throes” correctly…you give me hope.

  6. Officially our last day is this Friday. HOWEVER, my second child attends what’s called extended school year because he is in a special needs class and gets speech and OT through the district. So we have until July 10th of waking all five kids up, dressing and feeding and getting out the door at 8:10 :/
    No homework though so that’s a plus!

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