Given my work and stay-at-home experience, I can definitively say why working is better, and I’ll give you five reasons why I can’t be a SAHM again:
1) I’d have to give up the housecleaner because I’d be home, and of course I would have loads of time to clean.
2) I’d have to actually do those kid craft projects I’ve been pinning since my kids would want me to hang out with them.
3) My kids would actually expect me to make pancakes. Not defrost them. So I’d have to learn how to cook healthy, balanced meals the whole family would love.
4) I’d have to “enjoy every minute!!!!” Including the poop and vomit. It’s a requirement that SAHMs love every minute of their day, didn’t you know?
5) What would I DO with all my free time all day? I mean, I’d be bored, right? Because SAHMs just kinda hang out all day.
This all sounds ridiculous, right? I don’t actually think any of those things, of course. I’ve been a SAHM and I know better.
But there are working women think those things about SAHMs. And there are SAHMs who insist working moms are letting other people raise their children.
Who has it harder? Who’s right and who’s wrong? Do SAHMs lose their brain cells because they don’t work for a company? Do working moms actually raise their kids since their kids are always in daycare?
Enough already! Why is this still an issue?
Actually, I know why this is still an issue. It comes down to one thing: guilt.
The media loves to stir up “mommy wars” because they know that moms often feel guilty about their choices – or lack thereof. This innate guilt many of us feel makes us jump into the SAHM vs. working mom debate to defend our way of life.
I had this in mind when RadioMD interviewed me last week for their “Staying Well” show. The segment I spoke in was titled “Is Being a Working Mom Really Worth It?”
(By the way, the host sounds just like Delilah – you know, the nighttime radio host, love doctor, and problem solver extraordinaire? I was initially taken aback, thinking she going to ask me to dedicate a Chicago song to all working moms across America. And of course, it would be “You’re the Inspiration.” Duh.)
Anyway. I made the point that I think if a woman isn’t comfortable with her choice the guilt will fester, and that is what causes the mommy war drama. We all need to remember we are doing the best we can as parents, and the likelihood is that our kids will be just fine – whether we work, stay home, or do a combination of the two.
For me and my family, me working part-time is perfect. Working is worth it to me, even in those months where I don’t actually make much money. That’s my family’s decision. I’m rocking it. Yay, me!
Lots of women choose to or have to work full time. And to you women I say, rock on, mamas. Way to go, bringing home the bacon. Your kids will be awesome, too. They’re learning all sorts of great stuff at daycare and from you. Yay, you!
SAHMs are rocking the at-home mama gig. You’re spending quality time with your kids. You’re the household CEO, CFO, and cruise director. Your kids are also learning great stuff and will be awesome. Yay, you!
Let’s let go of the guilt and raise our kids in the way that works for our families. We’re all making sacrifices and making gains from whatever we do. Let’s own our decisions and ROCK THEM. No more guilt. Agreed?
Are you a SAHM or full/part-time working mom? Do you feel guilt about it? How do you think can you let go of it?