Can I put a doily on her head and call it done? And other last-weeks-of-school ruminations.

When will school be over so summer can start?!

18.5 days. That’s how many school days are left for us. And I tell you, I am waving the white flag. Waving it high.

I want to be done. I want to just say WHATEVER to the science project display board, backwards crazy hair day, and the kindergarten reading marathon fundraiser.

I mean, when are we supposed to have time to help our kids get pledges for a fundraiser in the last weeks of school? In that 23 seconds I have after I help my kid with homework while I also cook for teacher appreciation week and before dance recital rehearsal? Don’t forget work and laundry and all the normal crap. Yes, this is the perfect time for a fundraiser! Great idea!

And then my third-grader comes home with the very thrilling news that she gets to be Florence Nightingale for her Living Museum Project. And she has to dress up just like her. And this is happening soon so we have to get her costume ready.

This should be easy to re-create. Think I can put some doilies on my kid’s head and call it a day?
This should be easy to re-create. Think I can put some doilies on my kid’s head and call it a day?

You know, I say I’m waving the white flag, but really I’m making a flag. A (loosely interpreted) American flag in my kid’s hair with hair chalk. We’re practicing for her school concert because she has to look patriotic and somehow we can’t find any red, white, and blue clothing in the half-folded mishmash of winter and summer clothes that is in every drawer of her dresser. Because I just can’t find time to sort through them right now. BECA– USE FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE. Maybe there’s a red shirt in the festering pile of laundry that mocks me every time I pass it?

Ah, crap, I’ll just do the freaking hair chalk. That’s easier than tackling the laundry. There’s a duvet cover in there that we used in the winter and it scares me. (Because it’s May.)

You know, I think I might end up stealing Jen Hatmaker’s Worst End of School Year Mom Ever crown. Because instead of listening to my kindergartener sloooooowly read out loud to me for 20 minutes so she can get another star for her reading marathon chart, I’m thinking about wine and how good it tastes and how much I want some. Sweet Jen Hatmaker is singing church hymns in her head while her kids read. I’m daydreaming about alcohol. I win.

18.5 more days. We can do this, fellow moms. We can.

And if your kids are out of school already and complaining they’re bored, send them on over. I’ve got a Florence Nightingale costume project with their names written allllll over it.

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