I have had many, many Christmas card photo session fails. One year, I thought I would be proactive and try to get a picture of the girls during the fall. And this is about how well it went down…
1. Decide THIS is the year! The year you will finally create a beautiful, artsy, unique holiday card in which both girls are nicely dressed, have their eyes open, and are smiling!
2. Debate between casual-chic and fancy-schmancy outfits for your kids. Settle on casual chic and carefully pick out outfits for each kid that coordinate but aren’t too matchy-matchy.
3. Tell the 5yo to get herself ready. Show the 3yo what she’s wearing.
4. Watch 3yo throw herself on the ground in a massive tantrum because the tights you picked are white and not hot pink with purple hearts.
5. Try to explain the importance of looking casual-chic to a 3yo. Realize the futility.
6. Let the 3yo wear the hot pink with purple hearts tights. Run to the 5yo’s room to pick out something that won’t clash with the 3yo’s neon legwear.
7. Go back to the 3yo’s room. Find her dressed in pink with purple hearts tights, teal blue summer skirt, red sparkly shoes, yellow tank top that says “BORN TO SHOP,” and a Wonder Woman headband from Halloween.
8. Wonder if it’s too early to have a glass of wine.
9. Decide to do just a headshot this year. Convince 3yo to put on a red long-sleeved shirt and a sparkly headband.
10. Get kids settled on the front steps in the perfect pose.
11. Realize you left the camera in your office.
12. Come back with camera to find kids jumping in moldy, wet leaf piles.
13. Decide it is definitely not too early for a glass of wine.
14. After downing glass of wine, decide to take pictures of kids jumping in leaves. It’ll be cute, right? Kids in leaves, smiling, happy, etc. The sun is setting. It’s pretty! Good stuff. Should’ve done this from the beginning! GENIUS!
15. Upload pictures that night to computer. Find out that the wine colored your judgement.
16. Debate between picture of wet, filthy, moldy-leaf-covered kids wrestling in the mud (but with their eyes open) – or picture of wet, filthy, moldy-leaf-covered kids sitting in the mud looking at camera (but 5yo’s eyes are closed).
17. Pick out a random photo from the summer where both girls are sweaty and a little disheveled, but at least have their eyes open and they are sort-of smiling.
18. Upload mediocre picture to Shutterfly. Pick a generic border. Click “purchase” with a heavy sigh.
19. Decide that next year, you’re spending the money you’d normally spend on holiday cards on something for yourself instead. Like better wine.